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Updated: Jul 11, 2021

Weight. Shoulders. Pressure. Anxiety. Downward. Stress. Emotions.

The last few weeks had been weighing me down, but I been looking forward to a yoga class in Santa Cruz with live music by a musician that I had been wanting to see for months. Actually, since before my first hip revision surgery almost 16 months ago. The timing was never right. It was a matter of my hip health or location or timing, but there was always a reason why I could not fit it in. But the stars aligned last weekend – or I should say the moon since there was a full moon.

The Zen of yoga and music calms me down, centers me and allows me to not chase the worries of the future. This is one reason why I practice yoga several times a week. I’m still working through some kinks in my armor and in my hips so I was, figuratively, over the moon to be able to be enjoying this music.

Weightless. Grounded. Relaxed. Hope. Upward. Emotion filled.

The other thing I love about yoga is that a good yoga teacher encourages and, sometimes, admonishes the student to honor his or her body. Don’t compare yourself to others. Do what is right for your body. In this particular yoga class, it seemed that many of the poses involved hip flexion. My hips were screaming at me. “Don’t you understand ‘honor your body’’’? I tried to push the voice of my hips away, but the screaming was louder than I could handle. I could not plug my ears.

So, as everyone was focusing on getting their hips into maximal flexion and foreheads to the ground, I listened to my body. I sat in Thunderbolt pose. About 60 people or so were around me and I think I was the only one sitting upright. I say, “think” because I had my eyes closed. Breathing. Relaxing. Thinking. Escaping.

The soulful words of Girish had called my name. "And we shine like diamonds in the sun." Hopeful Hippie, keep your chin up. I did. I was upright. Closed eyes looking upwards. I was confident. I was hopeful. The music was singing to me and only me. It was an amazing feeling. That moment is what I will remember when I am just sick and tired of being hopeful. It will be that moment when I believe that being negative will be easier than being positive. It will be that moment that keeps pushing me forward.

Please, go out there and find your moments that you can call into your memory to get you through your hip struggles. Be victorious. Be confident.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every

experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

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