In the world of Covid-19, I am literally home. It’s incredibly annoying. I miss my live yoga peeps. I miss small chit chat in the grocery store. I miss not having my three alarm bells ring every time I hear a stranger’s cough. I miss smiles and being able to see the pearly whites of people, but the one thing I will say is in spite of this longing, I am home.
When I mean home, I mean that place in my mind that is calm and peaceful. That place where the breath is slow and easy. That place where the sun shines on my face. That place where there are no “what ifs”. That place where there is promise. I am there!
I had a great privilege today to share some thoughts about my journey towards health. I mainly focused on the nutrition and self-care that Ayurvedic medicine has brought to me. I was explaining to this group of women that when I embarked on this journey four months ago, it was to give me the tools to have the best hopeful hips ever! To have a nutritional plan mixed in with a cup of mindfulness stirred with the sweetness of balance. My objective was to be completely home with the idea that I am not perfect. I wanted to be at a place where I was not embarrassed to share my defects. Even though I have been doing so on the pages of this blog, I still have struggled explaining to people in my real life what that struggle feels like. I have more ease in being able to be vulnerable and to express fear.
It has been a struggle, I won’t lie. But it has been one certainly worth going through. When I look back, I was at a place where I could not really put into words the emotional toll I felt. I look back and see this very small gradual (almost marginal) change take over. I have felt the sadness - the grief. That anger was hard to deal with, but I am home with acceptance. I am calm and peaceful and through my rose-colored glasses, I can see the home in my mind that is moving forward with positivity.
Calmness. Peacefulness. Hopefulness.