I want to share with you a big lesson that I learned last weekend.
I'm heading into my 6th hip surgery in a few weeks - it is outpatient and an arthroscopic procedure but still a longer procedure than I would like. I am also a goal setter and I have a "to do" list a mile long to get done in the next two weeks. And, you know what? I am absolutely driving my husband crazy. I am nesting.
I really tried last time to just let the dust bunnies hop around my house and it was too hard. So this time, I have carpet cleaners coming in next week. I painted the bathroom (all by myself might I add - no fingers being pointed). I went to a sound bath class this last week (amazing relaxation). But I also was able to take a bath!
Wait a minute. Taking a bath is a goal? Well, I did not really take a bath. What I did was sit in a bathtub in the middle of the mountains that I climbed with screaming hips! Fully clothed of course. and why? And the answer is my yogi friend, Michael, had showed me a picture of this bathtub in the mountains a year ago and I've wanted to go find it since then.
The opportunity finally presented itself. It was a 6:30 a.m. curtain call on a Sunday morning! Why, oh, why did I agree to this? Well, like I said I'm a goal setter and a "to do" list checker.
I was "told" that this hike was an "easyish" hike and not much more than I had done before. If Michael was Pinocchio, he would have a three foot nose! And let me tell you, there were literally moments where I had to figure out where I was going to get the grit and strength to get my next step done. A lot of it was uphill which is not great since I was already struggling with pain in hip flexion. At one point, I turned around to see how far I had come and then looked to see how far I had to go. The first word that came to my mind was "helicopter" as in they are going to have to get me out of here by helicopter. I was exhausted and my hips were screaming at me with a bunch of four letter words!
But I had a great group of people telling me that I could do it. Take a break and continue pushing, Hopeful Hippie! You've got this. Michael reminded me to go back to the present and my yoga mindset. Don't worry about the next steps, feet, or miles. Focus on this step and this moment.
And I realized that I although I have a huge list and a bunch of goals, every breath that I take will get me closer to hip healing. I also had this huge "ah ha" moment that, if I had been told that the hike was longer and harder than I was expecting, I would not have stepped outside of my comfort zone. I would not have had the expectation of success. So, yes, I'm heading into another hip scope, but my expectation is that of success. It will be a few steps back to square one, but I will continue to put one foot in front of the other. I will do this just as I did on this 9 mile hike which was only supposed to be six (and relatively flat). Even though I slid down the hill a few times on my rear with a few choice words being uttered, I also saw a beautiful horse, I swung on a makeshift swing and I bathed in the sun and exhilaration of success! I will replicate my feelings of success through struggle that I found on this hike as I go through this next rehab. And, I know, I will get it done! Just like I always do. and you can too!