Being Home


My body has gone from struggle to struggle over the last few years, but there have been several constants throughout this journey even as I have lost my footing. There have been times when I have fallen into the hole of discouragement and there have been equal amounts of time where I have climbed out towards the oxygen that hope provides. There have been times where my brain has gone down the rabbit hole of what ifs. There have also been times where I have been able to silence those thoughts with the expectation of a sweet glass of lemonade at the end of the journey - made fresh with the lemons I was given. There have been times where I have not chased the worry.


There are two constants though that I want to chat about. One is the resilience factor. The second one is the ability to find home.


Resilience, in my humble warrior opinion, is the ability to remain flexible when, in the midst of challenges, things are out of control. It is a big word for an equally big concept. It is the ability to recover from hardship and distress. It is the ability to really consider the emotions that come with challenges as they are dropped in your lap. It is the ability to not get pulled into an abyss of despair. It is the ability to stand firm in a belief that you will find your way home.

Home, for me, is a place in my mind where there is stillness. It is the place where all feels right in my world in spite of the chaos. It is a place that, through my yoga practice, is somewhere that I have been able to find with closed eyes and rhythmic breath. It is a place where there are blooming trees. A place where the gentle sound of the rain soothes and a place where the warmth of the sun bathes me in hope - all wrapped into one. It is a place that I have found even when the challenges have seemed insurmountable. It is a place that provides grace, peace and respect. It is a place that allows me to honor my body and its imperfections. It is a place that injects confidence and optimism.


Getting there, though has been hard! It has taken practice and a lot of work, but mostly practice. I have talked about stillness in the virtual pages of this blog many times. I have been challenged by my Mindfulness Mentor, Mel, to allow myself to “just be”. But I just had that proverbial light bulb moment when my newest yoga teacher gave me a map to home. Whitney Gundrum, shared that, “a disciplined and focused awareness brings the mind to stillness.” How freaking amazing is that?


So how do you develop a disciplined awareness? I guess there are a lot of variables. A lot of paths. The root of discipline means “to learn”. Allow yourself to learn by being taught. Taught by the kindness of others. Taught by the wisdom of others. Taught by the breath of positivity. Taught by hope. Plain and simple. Hope will allow you to walk through the door to the place where you find home.


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